I have reached that point in life where my doctor starts many of his comments with “At your age….”. I have come to realize this is more than a mere figure of speech. Like most of my contemporaries, I began by trying to figure out “what” I was going to be (first a physician, eventually an engineer). I gave little thought to when or how age might nudge me onto an off-ramp from the expressway to money and success. Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old? by Richard Leider and David Shapiro reminds us that sooner or later, our life-long model for living an accomplished life will fall apart. The book is not a list of answers or techniques, but rather a new perspective that will provoke thought and provide inspiration. Getting old is inevitable (provided you choose your parents carefully and take good care of yourself), but growing old, pursuing the “who” of your life, requires purpose.
The story begins at a rain-delayed baseball game attended by authors Richard and Dave, lifelong friends who have begun to examine each other’s journey from adulthood to elderhood. This metaphor for a life that might not turn out exactly as planned is an apt one, and it launches a serendipitous opportunity for reflection and growth. Our culture tends to see older people as burdensome and non-productive, while the authors suggest that declining outward responsibilities can lead to greater inward growth along with the opportunity to make a lasting contribution.
Personally, I thought it would take longer to get this old, but I am one of the fortunate ones. For many of us, age doesn’t just creep up but announces itself loudly with a serious illness, or the death of someone close. The one certainty is that we will all eventually die, which raises the question “What was the point?” St. Benedict wisely advised “Keep death daily before your eyes.” Once age dissolves away the “what” of our lives, along with many of the responsibilities which formerly consumed our time, we have an opportunity to focus on “who” we are, and what legacy we would like to leave behind. While the outward decline of body and mind might very well turn us toward spiritual pursuits, the authors focus not on the path of inner soul searching but look toward an outward facing journey of connection and service. <continue reading>
